You don’t even know what you’re doing anymore.
You try your best. You do what you used to do. You go through the motions, but something’s off.
You lost your drive. You go through your daily routine out of habit. Yet, the little voice in the back of your head whispers, “What’s the point?”
You weren’t like this before. You loved your life. You loved what you did.
For some reason, though, you’re not up to it anymore.
You just don’t feel like yourself.
You look in the mirror and barely recognize the person standing in front of you. Your eyes have lost their spark. Your vibe isn’t as radiant as it used to be.
You used to be this incredible person who had all these passions and goals. Now, you can’t decide what you want for breakfast, let alone what you want in life.
How did you go from being you to being this less awesome version of you?
More importantly, how do you get you back?
How to Find Yourself When You’re Feeling Lost
To shake off the horrible feeling of being lost, you first need to understand why you feel this way.
You don’t feel like yourself anymore. You don’t like what you’ve become. You want to go back to what you once were.
Think about how you changed from being the 10-year-old who dreamed of being a lawyer/astronaut/singer. You didn’t grow up all at once. It was a slow process. You only noticed that you changed in retrospect, not as it was happening.
The minor daily choices and actions you make add up to a completely different you.
You’ve changed, and your old self is gone. I’m not going to help you become your old self again. You’ve outgrown that version of yourself.
Instead, I’m going to show you how to recreate yourself in the best way possible. You’ll get comfortable with the new person you are becoming. You’ll rid yourself of that terrible feeling of being lost.
Let’s get started:
Slow Down & Take A Look At Your Life From A New Angle
When I started to feel lost and not like myself anymore, the first thing I did was try to get my old self back.
I started doing all the things I used to do. I looked at my old to-do lists and schedules for clues. I even tried visiting the places I used to go.
But you know what?
That didn’t help.
Those activities didn’t feel right. I was trying to be someone I no longer was.
It took a while to realize why.
The feeling of being lost comes from changing and growing as a person. Those activities belonged to the old me.
To rediscover yourself, you need to get to know this new person you’ve become.
(Want to recreate yourself into a greater version of you? Read this.)
So instead of rushing into motion like I did, take a step back and look at your life as an outsider. Get acquainted with the new you. Understand what you like and dislike, and what you do and why. Get familiar with this new person’s goals, desires, and aspirations.
Ask yourself questions like:
- Who have I become?
- What do I like about the new me?
- What can I work on?
- What things do I do now that I didn’t do before?
- What things would I like to continue doing?
- What things should I let go?
Take a walk in a park and reflect. Your reflection won’t take more than an hour. Once you’re done, you can move on to the next stage.
RE-EVALUATE YOUR LONG-TERM GOALS
Now, you know who you’ve become, but you’re still left with all these goals and activities that don’t feel right.
The next step to rediscovering yourself is to re-evaluate what you’re doing, what your goals are, and whether or not they align with the new you.
Think about it:
Do the goals you are working toward still matter to you? Or are you just working toward them for the lack of better direction?
What do you want now?
If you’re having trouble determining your goals, try taking a blank paper and writing down everything you can think of.
I want a new dog. I want to travel the world. I want to own a hot tub. I want to be happy. I want better relationships. I want to read more books.
After you have around ~20 of these, you’ll be able to extract a theme and deduce what you really want.
Compare what you want now to your previous goals. Are you still on the right track or is it time for a life overhaul?
(Not sure what you want/like? Check out our 101 Questions to Discover Your Passion Workbook.)
CREATE YOUR PLAN OF ACTION
You know who you are and what you want, but now how do you get there?
You have to get accustomed to working with this new you. What things will you do? How will you achieve your new goals?
You plan of action is your blueprint to getting back to the life you love or more correctly, recreating a life you love.
It’s time to develop a new routine and an in-depth roadmap to your goals.
(Use this guide to build an effective routine that works for you.)
Determine what tasks you want to be doing, and what do you want to be focusing most of your time on. How much time will you dedicate to each project each week?
Drafting a plan will help you stay on track and remind you of what you should be doing when you lose focus.
Take the time to craft a plan that will work for you. Take into consideration your energy levels and commitments.
Check out our post on staying balanced to ensure you don’t work too much on one aspect of life and neglect another.
The reason you feel lost is because you changed too quickly for you to adapt to this new person you’ve become. You’re a new person stuck in an old life.
The only way to stop feeling lost is to get familiar with the new person you are and modify your life to fit the person you’ve become.
Who are you now? Does your life fit the new person you’ve grown into?
Track Your Goals and Progress With This Goal Tracking Template.
The Goal Tracker 2.0 is a goal tracker template on Excel and Google Sheets that makes tracking your progress a breeze. With it you can track up to 6 goals and your progress on each one!